In the past couple weeks, I’ve been skimming over old journals, specifically the pages I logged during the transition from college to what comes after college. It’s totally weird and surreal. Some words, I could have written today, others are uncanny in their allusion to the stirrings of things just now coming to fruition.
For others on the brink of transition, especially that blind step that comes after graduating from college, here’s a window into what that was like for me… 4 years ago.
So I’ve been trying to pull myself away from this impending-doom way of thinking about this next year coming up, and the years to follow. Trying to figure out how to find freedom from the anxiety that floods my body any time I try to picutre life two months from now, two years from now.. And so here’s the new mode of thinking I’ve found helpful.
Just look at things as though I am starting from scratch. All through childhood, all through adolescence, it seemed and felt that this present stage of life was the final goal, the end of the road, that you hit 22/23 and you have it all figured out, that this is what you’ve been planing and preparing for.
And now that I’m here, I see that that’s just not it at all. We (maybe just I) are all starting over, starting from scratch. I feel like I must discard anything I may have thought about how life will look, what I will want, where I will go, and how I will get there, and try to step back to look at my world and my life with fresh eyes.
I am starting from scratch, only I have the benefit of 22-years of learning who I am, and who God is. I am taking with me the lessons I have learned about life and people and Jesus and my wants and God’s love, and carrying them into this new life that I am beginning in the same place I’ve been.
It’s not just a new chapter – the first twenty-two years was the prologue and now the real story can begin…
When I look at it that way, I get kind of excited about the things God could do, the places He may take me, how the puzzle pieces of my hopes and dreams and desires might fit together in the end.
It is time for God to begin something new in me.
– May 27th, 2012
I hope that is a comforting reminder to those of you facing transition, that the concluding of one good thing gives way to the commencement of something else, something great.